my monologues (6)

Leading starts from seeing. The adage is correct that speaks of the blind not being able to lead the blind. The major encumbrance here is the lack of sight. Eyes lead the body by projecting to the mind what they see and perceive in front of them.

So, one who will lead is the one with open eyes. Open eyes come with an open vision while blank minds have eyes but no processing ability hence no vision and therefore no proper leadership can be derived from such a state.

So, who is going to lead? And how are they going to take the lead? Is being at the front leadership? Is seeing things first leadership? What shall, or what must we see that will make leaders of us? Can one lead without allowing to be led?

I am convinced that whatever mantle leaders carry it does not entitle them to eat first. It does not allow them to devour the homes of widows and to ravish orphans. I am convinced that leaders would rather be threadbare than hold court over naked subjects. I know leaders would rather have bread and water and ensure that every one has at least a meal a day. Leadership starts with selflessness and selfish frontrunners cannot claim to be leaders.

Leadership is stewardship. A mantle that is more of a yoke than a necklace or bow-tie. A stewardship that calls one to take everyone’s worries to bed and hope to wake up with a solution tomorrow. Stewardship is servant hood. Servants eat when the master is done and has retired. So do we have leaders?

Leadership has rewards. Passing a vision to others and seeing them achieve milestones through your marshaling is the greatest reward. So what do we call front-runners who have vision but use it to reward themselves before their impact those behind them? Not leaders, maybe front running opportunists.

I believe the leadership realm has been overrun by opportunists who ran with the gap when the real leaders were hesitant. The pendulum has to shift. Leaders who seek to be gods cannot be leaders.  After so many years why are we still selecting leaders via political affiliation? Why is ethnicity still the calibrating mark?

We cannot triumph without being marshaled. Those who marshal cannot be proper generals without vision so I insist only those who see beyond tribe, nepotism, affiliation etc. are good enough to be stewards under the mantle of leadership. So may the leaders stand up!

My monologues (5)

This Father’s Day thing has me confused now. Here was I sending complimentary messages last Sunday to fellow brothers who are fathers and I get complimentary messages this Sunday( including a call from Princess Michel wishing her dad a happy father’s day) on the same subject matter.

So, the day aside, I find myself honored to be a father. Fatherhood comes in many dimensions but at the end of it the flavour remains the same that of being the father figure. I chose today to monologue only on two types of fatherhood.

  1. Fatherhood by default

I always jokingly tell my close friends of how I became a father of three at the tender age of twenty-one. My father, Dickson Luke Phindela (may God bless his soul) gave me a jumpstart into responsibility. The moment he confirmed I had a secure job he gave me three children (my sister and two brothers) and told me thence on I was their father.

From thereon I became a father and fatherhood carries the obligation of responsibility. It comes with the onus of carrying the burden of being the figure-head. This onus obliges the figure-head to ensure that all under his care have the best he can provide before he can feed himself. This onus calls upon the figure-head to ensure that those under him or with him are clothed and warm before he can think of his next suit. This form of fatherhood taught me to be selfless and up to today if I have in my hand something that you need more than me I will gladly give it you.

Many brothers have joined fatherhood via this route. Many have assisted siblings go through school, life and through many challenges at the expense of their own education, life and problems. To most fathers by this design the greatest joy has been to see those assisted by them achieve milestones in life and go on to assume fatherhood in some default situations.  What joy!!

  1. Fatherhood by procreation

This arises out of copulation and invariably the circumstances are different. I will not dwell on the situations or circumstances. I will not dwell on the excuses (the condom burst!!). My take is that engaging in the act of sex is an indication of preparedness to tackle the issues that come with it, chiefly in this instance, parenthood.

Whether the creation was a result of a criminal act (read adultery), teenage impulses and impulsive reflexes or whether it was in a marital union and planned for, the inherent issue is that out of the act came a product that rendered fatherhood to someone. The circumstances do not matter; it is the obligation that carries honour. In reverse it implies failure to carry the obligation brings dishonor to the deserter.

After pregnancy the excuses will not matter (we were fooling around!!). What is of significance is the obligation and onus arising out of the act. Fatherhood is not a crime, it is a responsibility that calls on the fathers to exercise a God-given right to provide, protect, nurture and mold a generation that will carry more of our blessings and none of the curses of us the fathers.

Here is a mumbling dedicated to the brothers who have become fathers to their siblings, their own seed, their foster children, their spiritual children and the fatherless. Here is to real men who go beyond being sperm donors by being available fathers. A toast to fatherhood!!

my monologues (4)

The christening monologue still must wait. Something crossed my mind after someone had taken the liberty to call me a name that is akin to those canines kept at home to keep thieves at bay. The normal expected response would have been to flip and turn temperemental cartwheels and let all sundry know that I had been demoted from being a human being to being an animal.

But wait, I know I might have animal prone instincts but I am not an animal. My existence is not to be part of the food chain but to manage the food chain. I carry within me a mandate that supersedes all human thought and with the full cognition of the fact that there is a divine power behind that mandate no one and nothing can stop me, except myself.

It is not the insult that hurts.  It is the motive of the insult that should be read. I have seen smartly dressed ladies being called sluts by street hobos. The motive is to drive a message that says you are better dressed than me and therefore the only undressing that I can do you is to emotionally strip you. So bravo to the lady who keeps on walking shoulder-high and to those tempted to answer back, please check your dignity gauge before you do and see how much decline it will take if you engage in a verbal melee.

But I digress, I am not an animal, I have a special mandate. A mandate has one who assigns. It cannot be carried out without an oversight. Therewith comes our mistake, we try to carry out our mandates without referring to the sender or the blueprint owner. At times we go out of our way to try to re write the rule book to avoid referring to the mandate owner. We attempt to build our own fiefdoms and hope to be masters of our own destinies. We try to be our own gods.

Hitler was not an animal, he was a human being born for the good of human kind until he departed from the mandate and sort to create a race from his own blueprint. He sought to be his own god. Then the extremities began, then the contempt begun, then other human beings were seen as pests and holocausts occurred. His ingenuity had a limit, it ended were God’s mandate began and Hitler’s failure to recognize that fact cost him and humanity an opportunity to acknowledge God’s infallible power. For God has a mandate over Africans , Asians , Jews , Caucasians, Mongols etc. and nowhere in His mandate does he intend to exterminate one race in favour of another.

The humanity around the place where the tower of Babel occurred was doing well until they misread and rewrote their mandate. Instead of serving on the earth they sought to scale the stratosphere to go and hold a round table with God. They sought to be gods themselves and the result was more chaos than before. Talk of four steps forward and ten back, all because of misread mandates.

So I know what I am. It is not in my brief to behave like a dog so I will take no offence in being called a dog (though I will remonstrate of course). I might not know my full mandate but I have an ace up my sleeve for  I know the one who wrote the mandate’s blueprint. As long as I keep cognizance of that then I know I am better than an animal and I am designed to achieve greater things: through the designer.

my monologues (3)

The christening tale must wait a bit. Something struck me as I drove past the rail town of Plumtree this afternoon. I saw a group of expectant ladies (actually, when is a lady a mother? On conceiving or on giving birth? – that’s another monologue for another day). So, back to the ladies, they were trooping in some line on the road leading to the Plumtree District Hospital. On their heads they carried bundles of firewood of different lengths and weight.

The long and short of it is that these ladies come to stay at the hospital waiting to give birth. Due to certain circumstances they cannot get access to electricity to cook and heat water at their awaiting quarters, so every day they troop out to get firewood and I guess everyday they have to walk a longer distance to collect the same amount of firewood.

This got me thinking, it means that the expectant lady who will come to wait to give birth at the hospital in three months’ time will walk more kilometers to get fire wood than the lady who currently is expecting and is already waiting at the hospital. This happens just because they have made a choice to want to give birth in an assured environment or certain developments have caused them to be referred to go and await delivery at the hospital. Whatever the situation, the birth place of their children has been determined and short of giving birth while gathering firewood, the birth cards are going to reflect Plumtree District Hospital as their children’s place of birth.

This made me to think deeply, nobody is born in a wrong place or at a wrong time. The circumstances might not be permissible but the time and the place is right. Even if birth is by inducing, that is the right time and place. Even if the mother goes into labour by being head-butted by an imbecile that is the right time!!

So, I was born at the right time. No other time could have been better. The environment might not have been the best but the time was the best. Any time less I would not have had the same circumstances, any time beyond I would have had complications exiting the womb and entering the Mother Earth. So I aver my birth was at the right time and at the right place for the right reasons.

Whether born in a sewer alley, or a rubbish dump, prison cell, palace or plane the fact does not change. The birth was at the right time for it is the successful birth that matters and not the success associated with the place of birth. Whether born out-of-wedlock or out of an act of rape is not the issue, the import is in the successful birth that began a path to be the best one can be irrespective of the place, circumstances and time.

The right time implies a right reason, purpose, destiny and blueprint, the circumstances do not matter but the resolve powered by the success of the birth should be fuel for all future aspirations, goals, visions and battles.

Next, I monologue the christening.

my monologues (2)

So I developed past the first and second trimesters. In the third, people could tell that my mother was carrying some work in progress. Every moment meant some development, some DNA was enriched, some limb formed and some traits written into the development that was me. There were no scans then and I do not want to hazard how the prenatal examinations were done but still I developed.

The victor element had been put on halt and now the development element was in process and from there I see a lesson: victories are not to be savored forever but the advantage granted by the victory must be developed to ensure better victories tomorrow. The sperm victory was since long forgotten, I had another race to win. Yes I had won the starch race to beat my potential brethren but now I had to compliment my mother in her efforts to expel me onto the outer world.

I believe it is written in the traits that we should be able to battle to get out and ironically for one to enjoy the light they have to reach the end of the tunnel. Whatever inspiration or motivation there was I am not sure, but eventually I was born!! First born son.

Then the separation had to occur, the cord that had sustained me since the sperm victory was cut and all the automation was gone, now my organs had to function, the mouth had to feed and the other parts had to learn to process, digest, absorb and expel. The separation has always been there right through life though it comes through different benchmarks but it started with the cutting of the umbilical cord and will continue until the separation of the body, soul and spirit.

So I see that this whole process from conception to birth carries all the modules of life. A God aided victory in a million sperm race, a God sustained development, a phased and timed departure from the mother into the mother Earth. I have since learnt that the same stages will prevail in all events of my life till the end. Ideas will be conceived, developed, birthed and given the impetus to prove their survival instinct.

So, my being here is not a mistake. It is an intricate design. A design has an objective, goals and benchmarks. So I am a design meant to achieve goals, set milestones and progress from one step to another. When I do not know my goals, they will suffer a still birth and be aborted. When I do not work hard enough on my plans they will incur a still birth and die prematurely. I am glad all the concerned parties and machinations never gave up on me and from this I learn not to give up until I attain the objectives.

I pause here my monologue here, next would be the christening.

my monologues (1)

Dear God,

This is not a prayer (for I fear that the answers to some questions might invoke your wrath). The teachers say when we pray we talk to you. I am not sure whether we talk to you or with you but whatever it is, the talk involves you dear God.

But I digress; I meant to indicate that these are my mumblings as I live this life. These are things that run through my mind everyday but I can’t pray them aloud or talk about them to anyone so I opt to talk to myself in a monologue that can’t be directed to you dear God straight but which I know you hear after all.

To start with, dear God thank you for allowing me to win my first race. My biology teacher says there were a million of us battling and expending energy in an uphill swim in an environment that can be likened to be acidic. And I won.

Secondly thank you for making me take the right direction, the same teacher says I could have swum up the wrong tube to die a disappointed sperm but that did not happen because I happened to be steered in the correct direction. I will not assume any credit for this for I do not know how I did it.

Thirdly thank you for allowing me to hit bull’s eye and be accepted as the sperm that fertilized the egg. In all this I had no input so I can only deduce that it was your unction dear God that carried me through.

Fourthly thank you for allowing me to fully develop and to see the light of the earth. This was by no means a feat arising from my efforts. It was not by my effort that my father did not disown me ( may you bless his soul), it was not by my means that I was not still-born, it was not by my power that my mother never thought to terminate my existence. It was not my input in all these steps that carried me through, so I can safely deduce dear God that it was You who oversaw all this.

So dear God these monologues are coming from a product existing because of your will. They come from a victor who won his first race and has reason to believe that all race s are possible to be run if not won.  Incidentally my name means victor when translated and I know that I owe all my victories to your guiding hand. I won my first race because of you God, millions others came second, millions others swam up the wrong way. I was a victor from the start and I will monologue in an effort to keep the path of victory which I have come to realize I cannot undertake without you dear God. I thus pray your indulgence as I talk alone in your presence my Father.

Your faithful son,

The seed that won the race